going on 3 weeks and its all fading away….

Maybe this is a way to let me know that there are other things in life I need to take of. I fing myself wondering if Ill ever do Crossfit again. The upper body workouts given to me at fine but its not the same. I have no dersire to workout ,unless Im pushed. The eating is begining to wear on me. Paleo is awesome when I did crossfit, not so much when Im stuck on a sofa for hours at a time.  It gave me energy to move, now it just makes those trips to the bathroom a pain. Damn crutches. I use to run to the computer to log onto my crossfit sites-dreading what tourtues lie ahead but enjoying the pain and strength it gave me. I don’t do this anymore. My focus is now my famliy and getting better for them. Did I push everythig out of the way for Crossfit? Did my family suffer from me being gone on travel to Xfit certs, hoppers or events. Ive noticed a big change in my girls attitude with me being around more. Yes, Im hurt but we are closer because of this. And I love it : ) Did Crossfit come first in my life?

The knee is better, stiff with a bit of fluid. We’ll see what my MRI says Tuesday but should I brace myself for the worse. Maybe. All signs point to me changing my priorities. Not just at home but at work. Most comments I get are ” your missed at the gym” or “your gonna get flabby”. I don’t hear anything that lets me know I was missed in Crossfit-as far as my coaching abilities. Or missed doing a WOD.  Did I just go along for the ride cuz it was the thing to do and it was cool?  Maybe being a crossfit coach isn’t what Im meant to do. I feel left out of events and conversations and it hasn’t been that long.  Did I invest all that time and money to make myself feel better. Maybe.

So I have a new focus starting week four. Getting rid of these damn crutches for starters! My kids and my job. Im not sure if I can do crossfit again or If I want to. Time will tell but Im sure they will be fine without me and thats ok. Its just all fading away and Im not sure I can get it back.